I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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