Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
