How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
