People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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