So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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