I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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