I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
