Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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