Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
