you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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