I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
