I want to stick my p in your. b.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
