Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
