i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
