I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
