dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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