Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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