Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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