Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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