8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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