And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
