the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
