i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
