On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
