haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
