Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
