You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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