Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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