mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
