wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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