This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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