Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
