I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
