He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
