im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As shirtless as possible
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
