If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he fucked my hip out of place.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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