thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
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