Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
