please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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