guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
sarcasm needs its own font
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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