If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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