about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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