I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
