she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
