I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
