so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
