Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
