If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
