I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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