I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
