I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
